Today I was thinking about how much pressure I put upon myself prior to six months ago. Everything was career driven, money driven, over driven, and nothing was ever enough. I always felt that I had to have more, do more, and be more.
When I had to leave NYC due to Covid-19, and needed to self isolate for two weeks in a strange place, knowing next to no one, I had to let go of the previous 30 plus years of this mode of thinking, doing and being. It was a tremendous shock. There are days I now no longer recognize myself, but I’m glad. I believe that several life changes due to Covid-19 have been positive and for the better.
Now when things happen that are annoying, or need to be dealt with, I deal with them or do them, but not in the same way, or feeling the same way about it. I take the pressure off myself, and off of the other things, people, and situations I am dealing with.
I had a very annoying thing happen over the weekend. The bathroom toilet broke, and I needed to call someone in to fix it. This happened very late on Saturday. The toilet won’t flush, and therefore, water won’t circulate to flush material down and out. I remembered something odd along the way that my father once taught me. If the toilet doesn’t flush, take a bucket, fill it with tap water from the bathtub, and pour it into the toilet, which in effect, flushes it. I did this, and it worked.
I was on the phone this morning with the super in the building, and when he could not fix the problem, he called the plumber…who did not call back until late in the day, indicating that he could not show up until tomorrow morning. He said, “Can you live with this not being fixed until tomorrow?”
Old self would have been flipping out angry, insisting that it be fixed then and there. New self said, “I can live with this being fixed tomorrow, but I will not live with it beyond tomorrow morning.” I could be angry, but what’s the point, beyond wasted energy? I emailed the managing agent to tell him about the delay, and said it needs to be fixed tomorrow.
Another thing I have noticed, regarding the simplification of Covid-19 life, is that there is now no excuse to avoid writing – either this blog, or the book I have been working on. When my work is done, I’m able to open up the laptop, to write, network and enjoy. I’m treating this extra time as the gift it is, for I have no idea if or when life will ramp up and rev up once again. I don’t want to return to a high-powered life, which in reality, was an empty and draining life. Instead, I’d like to continue living an enriched, enjoyable life – one that remains an excellent blend and balance of social, work, and creative endeavors.