I went for a drive early this afternoon, for a post repair and pre-inspection spin, to make sure the car is in working order. I’m happy to report that I put sixty miles on it while enjoying the balmy weather. It felt like a luxury to be “out,” even if it meant being by myself on a country lane.
On the way back, I saw a hawk sailing through the sky. I wished I could drive around forever and see more of this, but did not want to spend all day in the car. When I came back to civilization, I stopped at the gas station and filled the car with gas. It was a self-serve station with nine pumps, and all of them were full.
I stopped inside of the mart and bought two newspapers, and a bagel with cream cheese. I can’t remember the last time I read an actual printed newspaper, since I read the papers on-line.
I ate the bagel first, and then read the newspapers. After reading about multiple crimes in Manhattan, I realized I didn’t want to read anymore. I still have not set foot in the city since March 12, 2020. The city is a fact; it exists. But at this point, my mind does not dwell upon the place that it was to me for so many years. I have some very good memories of it, but anything beyond that, feels like abstract thinking. There is no going back to what it was, for some of the horrible things that I read this afternoon, and have heard from others, I know to be true.
I will be going on some more drives in the near future, to experience upstate New York. It helps to focus on the good that exists, rather than what I have left behind.